Leaning into Discomfort | How I Cope with Major Change

One of the greatest lessons I learned in the process of leaving my whole life behind to follow my dreams was to lean into discomfort even when everything is changing.

My cozy RV at the edge of the world- photographed by Rachel Renee

There’s some sort of magic in leaning in rather than pulling back when things are unfamiliar. So often we have the urge to duck out, slow down, or hit the brakes when life feels new. There’s no harm in slowing down, but I think it’s important to learn to lean in at least some of the time. When ego and fear creep in, challenge yourself to get curious.

Lean in with the curves in the road. Lean in for the unexpected kisses. Lean in and listen to the whispers of the moon.

It sounds really romantic, and it is. But it’s more than that. It’s not just romantic with one single person, it’s a romantic dance with your entire life. . . The one and only life you get.

It would be such a loss to not flirt with life.

What’s the fun in taking it so seriously?

I know better than many the importance of using caution, but because of the caution I learned through abuse and tragedy, I overplayed the caution card. As a result, I learned the importance of using caution in moderation. There are times when caution is not your friend- when it puts serendipity and joy and abundance on hold. Don’t use caution to the point that you forget to enjoy your own life.

One of the most heartbreaking experiences in life is to realize that your own joy has been placed on hold for someone else. I learned this the hard way as I placed the blame and reasoning on those I loved back in Idaho- I said I couldn’t go for my dreams and live my own life because I needed to be there for people. It felt very all-or-nothing, and I was convinced that I couldn’t go and still be a good granddaughter, sister, wife, daughter, friend. It felt so selfish.

But I finally found the courage. . . Or the desperation. I was sick of wanting to die, I was sick of choking myself at every opportunity. I was sick of hitting the brakes every time something lit me up, only to wonder why I felt such a yearning for adventure and newness. I didn’t want to sit in my beautiful life and feel empty, wishing myself away. So I went.

My loved ones were sad, it was really uncomfortable. It felt selfish, and I had conflicting voices in my head even in the weeks following my big solo move to the edge of the world. But then?

Then I leaned in!

I leaned into the discomfort and learned how to cherish my adventure and my joy.

I realized I could go back to Idaho if I wanted to- to visit, to stay, whatever I wanted.

And for now? It was my time.

[Cut scene to the Goonies, “it’s our time down here” - give this post a <3 if you get it!]

Just today, my husband said to me:

“You’re so happy here today.

I don’t see any of the old sadness that always held you down.”

And it’s true. All the aching sadness I carried around for so long- that I spent years and years working through and releasing and healing from. . . It’s finally faded and fallen away to no longer be my habitual feeling. It’s not even what I lean back into when things get uncomfortable- because I practiced leaning IN to the joy! I had an awesome friend helping me along the way, and that helped. But at the end of the day, what I really needed was to make an agreement with myself to lean in more often, and run away a little less.

My sisters have said the same about my old sadness falling away. I feel truly transformed. My best friends see this too- just through texts and Facebook messages and the way I write here on the blog, they know something has changed.

I had the courage to lean in, to go for it, to allow myself to soak it all in and delight in the pleasure and magic of the life I always dreamed of creating. . . and the result was the most pure and genuinely ME state of being I’ve ever experienced. Those who really love me are thrilled and relieved and overjoyed at the changes in me. They’re happy for me. They’re proud of me. They’re inspired by me, and they’re even making incredible changes for themselves.

When I leaned in, serendipity scooped me up in her arms
and we danced along the edge of the world like no one was watching.

And it was epic.

And. . . it’s still epic!

Things are still uncomfortable sometimes.

I’m playing with the balance between grace and discipline, honoring serendipity and letting life unfold in the magical ways that it does, and I’m learning my way around money and growing friendships that can last- all in this forest at the edge of the world.

And you know? It’s okay. It’s so much more than okay.

Life’s a dream.

Sometimes it’s scary to face a potential change when you don’t know what the other side looks like.

But just this once, I dare you to let yourself lean in.

Let it unfold.

Dance with your life, make it count.

Lean in.

Written just for you and with so much love,

Vera Lee Bird