Reconnecting the Dots: My Big Why
I’m done being a butterfly circling the cage. I’m truthful black and white, seeped in screaming colors… I see myself a little clearer these days. And finally, I’m flying. It’s been a little messy, but I guess we’re all beginners at some point.
I rediscovered my Big Why:
Love.
Of course it’s love! (I know, I know)
It’s always been love, but I got lost in the trap of thinking the simple and constant of my soul wasn’t enough- I was overthinking and trying to prove I was worth something amazing in this life. But the kind of love I’m talking about is exactly enough. I’ts the kind of love that is raw, vulnerable, deeply empathetic, and compassionate. The kind involving radical self-acceptance and personal responsibility. The kind of love that leads me to see and give love to strangers, to give the compassionate benefit of the doubt… the kind of love that doesn’t leave room for violence in any form- from consumer habits to social interactions.
I’ve let go of that depth of love and honesty while exploring a new perspective in love, but now that I’ve had my chance to explore, I’m being called right back to my core and realizing how important it is for me to show up knowing who I am and how deeply my needs, simple joys, and values are rooted in my state of mind… and the quality of the ripples I put out into the world.
It’s time for me to get back to who I really am- to show up fully in my own flavor of love and light- to soar to new heights- and to show myself the same compassion I offer so freely to others.
In these reflections, I’ve rediscovered the overwhelming and incessant sense of gratitude I felt in the first few months living here at the edge of the world.
The little details, tiny plants, and expansiveness of the world around me are stealing my breath away again and lighting a fire behind my eyes. Finally, I can’t bring myself to turn away from what lights me up. I missed that so much.
When I set down my worries and all of the uncertainty…
… in these times as Coronavirus continues to shake the world, I realize I am right exactly where I’m meant to be in the story of my life. I can trust in the timing of my life and see that I am so gently and lovingly held by something much bigger than me. I see that I will never fall further than I’m able to gt back up from. I’m enough. I’m not too much. I’m safe. I’m loved. I AM love.
Business and designs and networks aren’ the point- the how’s and what’s mean nothing in the end. Two weeks and the world is already on to the next thing- technology and marketing evolve so quickly.
What matters is the why.
The who. The love.
In the end, love is all there is. When I reach my ending, I know there’s not one soul on this planet I wouldn’t show love to. Not one. Love is all we really have in the grand scheme of humanity. It’s all that can’t be broken, stolen, love, or forgotten (and if it is, then it wasn’t really love). Real love is the stuff we’re all made up of- the energy, the universe, it can never be created or destroyed; only transferred. That’s why we’re here. That’s my big why.
The next step is to learn how to apply this lovely concept to life- ideas this powerful are lost without implementation!
This is a step in the middle of the process, a part of the journey most people struggle through silently rather than broadcasting. It doesn’t have the satisfaction of a clear answer or even a super motivated BOOM!!!! THIS IS MY PLAN kinda feel. Instead, it’s the steady, grounded, uncertain-yet-determined that must be encountered before a wildly beautiful dream comes to life. If you’re stuck, you’re probably onto something. Take a page out of Isa Adney’s book and keep going!
