I find myself back to the old patterns of thinking that once held me captive - except now they are not my cage, but rather they are my liberation. I’m also noticing the way my life has revolved around love interests for the past twelve years… and how very uncomfortable it is to make space for something else.

It became frustrating how, on paper, I quickly felt myself slipping from being a relatively upstanding citizen, down a slippery slope to barriers and barricades every step of the way. I came to this town with almost nothing. I signed up for this in a lot of ways, and I’m grateful and joyful that I get to have the adventure and learn these things. I know most people don’t get this experience though, and I want to spread a little compassion, understanding, and spark some curiosity for anyone who cares to be kinder to people they can’t understand in all walks of life.

In 2019, when I moved to the Oregon coast in an RV by myself, I remember thinking I would never feel so lost or uncertain ever again. I knew I just needed to be brave and take the steps to get me to that ocean home.

Boy, was I wrong about that.

Read on for a journey of uncertainty, becoming, and loving with your whole heart against all odds.

There may be massive realizations and moments where the clouds part along the way to embracing yourself, but self-love is kinda like a combination of a roller coaster and an upward spiral. It’s a consistent change over time- and I mean consistent in the long run. It’s a practice, not a revelation.

Read about my eBook journey and learn how to write and publish your own eBook in under 30 days. (I did mine in print and eBook format, pictured above!) Recommendations based on what I’ve tried and tips on what I’ve learned since creating my first eBook.

It depends on who you are, how you learn, what works best for you… but it also depends on how the affirmation came into your life and how you’re using it…

The releasing and the change both naturally want to happen… but sometimes we dig our heels in and raise such a fuss that we miss the entire transformation and just find ourselves in the frozen wasteland on the other side completely against our will.

If you like an idea but don’t actually want to do the work, let yourself play with it. But get to work on what you actually are willing to do. For me, this looked like truly dedicating myself to growing this blog and creating a steady income for it- and so that I could afford to put the time into it while still keeping my family supported, that meant working part-time. But you do what you gotta do!!

For as long as I can remember, I’ve explored myself from every angle possible.

I’d try on moods and character traits like Halloween costumes, fully embracing a state of being just to try it on for size before keeping what I love and discarding the rest of it. Aesthetics, music genres, foods, even types of physical movement, colors and style choices… I go through them in themes.

Today we’re getting a little more blunt & abrasive than usual, and for good reason. You’ve been stuck, bored, afraid, and unsure for long enough, damn it! It’s time to start making a change, having an impact, and enjoying your actual life.

Have you ever bravely done something your own way… and later crashed and burned? Have you ever made the same mistake twice? Have you ever felt like you screwed everything up? I have, and in these moments, there’s a voice on a megaphone in my head. Here’s what it says…

For some crazy reason, we like to keep ourselves busy with an abundance of little problems and challenges. Sometimes, if things are working out in our favor too much, our doubts and our ego step in to create some new friction in life to keep us from getting too comfortable.

The more I realize how differently two people can experience the exact same moment, the more exhausting it feels trying to explain my perspective to people who think differently than I do. But that’s something I’m trying to get better at… just putting things into words, and being able to have a conversation. Let me see if I can share these conflicting feelings with you.

There’s honoring your feelings, and then there’s addiction to sadness and devastation. Chaos. Aching, longing. Pointing fingers at past traumas, broken love, and tragic circumstance. I’ve more-than honored these feelings, feeding them all of me until there was nothing left to give. When it comes to that addiction, I’m ready to move on. I’d rather dance in the ocean and shiver in the coastal rain than play with fire any day.

It’s actually super simple! It’s an easy way to embrace the moment and unlock the prison fear has created in your mind.

And as a woman who has forgiven them all and, more importantly, as a woman who has forgiven myself, I’m sharing what forgiveness looks like in my world.

This is such an amazing topic for the autumn season, because autumn itself is a perfect representation of abundance and grief creating something incredible. The changing and falling of the leaves, the abundance of those final fall harvests, joggers out soaking in the final days of pre-winter weather, the loss of summer, but the beginning of all things cozy…