n the beginning, everything was fine. I was motivated to make the best of the situation, we were saving $$$ for our dreams, and I was building my dream business.

And then... things started slipping through the cracks.

I felt the cool, damp fog of sadness roll over me like the morning mists still floating in the treetops outside… I knew before I even opened my eyes that today was going to be a little cooler, a little more spacious, a little dim in my heart.

When we’re unhappy, we’re usually looking for certainty. We want to know for sure we are taken care of, that our needs are met. We don’t want to have to rely on anyone, we want everyone we do engage with to be a certain situation- to meet our expectations or have no strings and expectations at all.

I’m writing this on March 15th, 2020 and last night was the most harrowing grocery shopping experience of my life. No, seriously. I felt above all this panic until I saw these empty grocery shelves. It was more nerve-wracking than having cystic fibrosis and a compromised immune system in a particularly nasty flu season! Coronavirus (COVID-19) is taking the world by storm, and while I tried not to feed into the hype and the panic, I also understand how scary health struggles can be. To see something invisible creating such a devastating impact so quickly, of course we’re all a little on edge. But don’t panic. Be smart, choose your news sources intentionally, and remember to find some quiet space to recenter today.

Absolutely everything could be in our favor in life, and we could still be miserable by choice… and absolutely everything could be working against us in life, and we could still be joyful by choice.

So what is the truth?

The most powerful moments in our lives don’t come from easy, happy times. They come from struggle.

In the end-stages of putting something I’ve created into the world, I get scared. I want to run, close myself off to the world, and shut out love. I’m learning about surrender all over again as I walk away from the creation of Raped, Not Ruined and release this book into the world.

I’m opening up a new chapter now, one where I learn to love, honor, face, and allow joy into all the places I’ve never allowed it to take hold. I want to understand the edges of life- now that I know sadness, it’s time to explore joy.

Do you ever hesitate to let your partner know you’re having a difficult time? Do you always hesitate to let your partner know? Do you feel guilty for sharing your struggles with others? You are not a burden, and sharing your struggles with a loved one is not a selfish act. Here’s why…

I didn’t give these wild dreams a lot of thought or planning, I just wanted to embody the feeling I found when I saw and saved them to my Tumblr. It was a feeling of peace, hope, possibility, and joy. Despite my circumstances, or else because of them, I felt so loved by the universe knowing places and creatures so beautiful were able exist in the same world as the one I was living in- both literally and figuratively.

Everyone’s threshold for pain is different. What feels ticklish to one person can be agonizing for another. I think the same is true for joy… I couldn’t enjoy my dreams coming true until I moved past my old limitations for how much joy I was allowed to experience.

Have you ever seen those wildly adventurous people and wondered how they do it? Where does that energy and confidence come from? How do you always find these cool places in the middle of nowhere (or hidden in plain sight)?! Why do adventures just seem to always happen for some people? Here are 3 lessons I learned in transforming from an apartment-dwelling hermit in the city to a full-time RVer on the Oregon coast!

It’s been just over a week since I asked my (future ex) husband to leave. Now I’m back to living by myself at the edge of the world- and I’m truly on my own for the first time in my life.

There's a reason storms are named for women. Feminine power is an intimate connection with the divine. It's the ability to feel love and anger at the same time.

I’m so quick to feel trapped in a routine! In the past I’ve gotten a couple days into it and felt so accomplished, and then been like “okay that was fun, bye!!” and ditched the whole routine thinking I could just skip along my merry little way. Naturally, I’d crash and burn again within a couple weeks and feel all disappointed and annoyingly humbled as I started back at square one.

It’s been just over a week since I asked my (future ex) husband to leave. Now I’m back to living by myself at the edge of the world- and I’m truly on my own for the first time in my life.

I grieved for my loving kindness, my mindfulness, my sense of peace and connection with my body. That was gone. Completely. Nothing brought it back. Not yoga, deep breathing, morning walks, my favorite things. I binged sweet coffees and boba teas at hundreds of dollars per month just trying to feel something, anything real again. I felt like I’d never loved, like I never would love. My body felt like shards of glass around me.

Because of my creative nature, a strong theme in my life is living the balance between structure and freedom for my passions and talents to really thrive. Being lost in my work feels amazing… but it’s not sustainable. The aftermath of constantly being lost in a swirl of creative passion isn’t pretty.